Why your congregation needs to see your humanity

Embracing the admittance of your imperfections and sharing yourself in your sermons

by George Stahnke, August 11, 2014

When I first went into the ministry over 30 years ago, I was told “familiarity breeds contempt.” The message to me was clear; do not bare your soul to anyone in the congregation or for that matter in leadership.  You can reference the imperfections and challenges of biblical characters, but NEVER, reference yourself in the message. The lines of demarcation had to be maintained and protected.

The tragedy of this widely embraced approach was that it filtered down into everyday life of the ministry family. The challenges and dysfunctions in the home were never to be revealed. This was driven in part by fear of being misunderstood, loss of respect, reputation, and even the loss of position. To be secure in ministry meant maintaining secrecy.  This attitude fosters a false impression that the minister has no problems at all, that he or she is above the carnal tendencies of others.

This of course is one of two extremes.  The other extreme would be those who tell all, seemingly with no restraint or discernment.  In some instances their testimonies were exaggerated or false in recounting the darkness of their lives before Christ. The emphasis seemed to be more on shock value and crowd size rather than redeeming grace. In the congregational setting the goal is that all things be done to strengthen, build up, and edify those in attendance (1 Corinthians 14:26b). It is not wise nor does it honor Christ to be so bold as to “glorify the devil” in regard to past or present behavior.

Admittedly those of us in ministry must use discretion when putting ourselves into a private conversation or into a public message. I believe the balance is somewhere in the middle. The apostle Paul is a great example of the balance that we are seeking.  He was honest about his life before Christ and his present weakness but not cavalier (2 Corinthians 11:29-30).  In my own teaching and preaching I have also endeavored to be transparent. Exposing my weaknesses and failures to make reference to the glory of His manifest strength has always proved to be helpful in building others up according to their needs, and beneficial to the listener (Ephesians 3:29). 

We are ordinary people called into extraordinary service to the Lord. We struggle to live balanced lives that honor Christ. It is that struggle coupled with our submission to His divine power that enables us to conquer our fears, rise above our failures and have a message that others can relate to. Appropriate transparency in the pulpit regarding our story lends itself to authenticity and credibility. In affect we are echoing the words of the apostle Paul;  “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”  (Philippians 3:12)