Four Spiritual Tools for Counseling

As Christian counselors, our desire is to stir hope in the hearts of others and lead them into an intimate and healing experience with Christ. To this end, we lean upon our training, experience, and tools. We must also recognize the importance of scripture, partnership with the Holy Spirit, empathy, and prayer in the therapy sessions.

Empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another . . .” 1 It’s presumptuous to “fix someone” before gaining some degree of understanding and showing him or her that we are genuinely concerned. We need to take time to listen to their story.

We start by asking questions in an effort to gain knowledge of the hurting person’s needs. “What is your concern?” “Would you like to tell me about it?” People need the freedom to talk about their pain without fear of reproof. They need to be able to say, “I’m hurting,” “I’m angry,” even “I’m angry with God.” Many times we will share some of our own story to make that empathetic connection.

The Apostle Paul prayed that people would come to know Christ experientially not just cognitively. 2 Unfortunately, many people that you and I work with do not know how to make that experiential connection with the Lord. Empathy and prayer combined can be the bridge that helps hurting people experience God’s love and find renewed hope and deep healing.

It is also important to remember the critical role of the Holy Spirit 3 as we counsel and pray with our clients. We have God’s promise that if we listen we will hear His voice. 4 The Holy Spirit, the comforter/counselor 5 will impress His thoughts upon our minds, giving us needed words of wisdom, knowledge, discernment, and insight. 6

The Holy Spirit enables us to pray specifically 7 in accordance with God’s will 8 in order to accomplish this connection between hurting people and Himself. Here are some guidelines that I employ when leading people to that experiential encounter with Christ.

While listening to the person, I am also listening to the Holy Spirit. Regularly He brings a portion of scripture to my memory 9 that I can share with the person that will touch their heart and offer hope—for example, Lamentations 3:16-20 speaks about expressing to God the deep emotional pain associated with grief. I let them know that grieving is a part of the healing process.

Lamentations 3:21-24 points to the hope that lies beyond the pain and helps the person see that God understands and wants to comfort them. 10 In this way, I till the soil of a person’s heart helping them to receive the seed of God’s word, which will be watered by prayer. In effect, I take them gently by the chin, and lift their head so they can see into the eyes of the One who loves them and see the hope that is in Christ. 11

Finally, I pray for the person, that he or she will be able to experience this hope from God. If sin, and the resulting guilt and shame, is involved, I will invite that person to pray a prayer of specific confession so they can receive the forgiveness God wants so much to give and that they so desperately need. 12

The Holy Spirit can give us the ability to speak 13 to issues authoritatively and with compassion that are beyond our natural or learned abilities. He can enable us to make a relational, empathetic connection and empower us to pray the will of the Father. If we are willing to be His instruments, He will extend His hand into the lives of hurting people through us.

1 Merriam-Webster Online

2 Ephesians 3:19 (AMP)

3 John 16:8, 13

4 John 3:29; 10:4, 16, 27

5 John 16:7

6 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, James 1:5

7 Romans 8:26-27

8 1 John 5:14

9 John 14:26

10 Isaiah 66:13, Matthew 5:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

11 Psalm 33:20, 130:5

12 1 John 1:9, Matthew 11:28

13 Luke 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:6