I pray with hurting people almost every day of every week.
My desire is to stir hope in their hearts and to lead them through empathy and
prayer into an intimate and healing experience with Christ.
The Apostle Paul prayed that people
would come to know Christ experientially not just cognitively.[1]
Unfortunately many people that you and I pray with don’t know how to make that
experiential connection with the Lord. Empathy and prayer combined can be the
bridge that helps hurting people experience
God loves. And if they experience God loves, then they can have hope.
Empathy is “the action of
understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing
the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another . . .”[2] It’s presumptuous to “fix someone” before gaining some
degree of understanding and showing him or her that we are genuinely concerned.
Before we launch into prayer we need to take time to listen to their
story!
It’s also important to remember the critical role of the Holy Spirit[3] as we minister and pray for
others. We have God’s promise that if we listen we will hear His voice,[4]
and I believe that includes hearing God’s empathetic heart for those to whom we
are ministering. The Holy Spirit, the
comforter/counselor[5]
will impress His thoughts upon our minds, giving us needed words of wisdom and
knowledge, discernment, and prophetic insight.[6]
The Holy Spirit enables us to pray
specifically[7]
in accordance with God’s will[8] in
order to accomplish this connection between hurting people and Himself. Here
are some general practical guidelines that I often employ when leading people
to Jesus for a touch from Him.
- Questions: I start by asking
questions in an effort to gain knowledge and a heart understanding of the
hurting person’s story. What is your
concern? Would you like to tell me about it? People need the freedom to talk about
their pain without fear of rebuke: they need to be able to say, “I’m
hurting”, “I’m angry”, even “I’m angry with God.” As they share, I try to
express genuine understanding and empathy with them so they know that I
appreciate the pain they are experiencing.
- Scripture: While I am listening to the person, I’m also listening to the
Holy Spirit. Regularly He brings a portion of scripture to my memory[9]
that I can share with the person that will touch their heart and offer
hope—for example, Lamentations 3:16-20 speaks about expressing to God the
deep emotional pain associated with grief. I let them know that grieving
is a part of the healing process. It’s only if you get stuck in grief for
inordinate periods of time that it can become unhealthy. Lamentations
3:21-24 points to the hope that lays beyound the pain and helps the person
see that God understands and wants to comfort them.[10] When people start to see that God is an
empathetic God who really cares for His hurting children’s emotional
struggles, then they are in a much better place to receive the seed of His
word which will be watered by prayer. In effect, we take them gently by
the chin, and lift their head so they can see into the eyes of the One who
loves them and see the hope that is in Christ.[11]
- Prayer: When I’ve followed these first steps, I
find that my heart usually has made a genuine connection with the hurting
person’s heart. I can feel their pain, which enables me to pray for them
with real empathy and understanding. I pray that this hurting person will
be able to experience hope from God. If sin and the resulting guilt and
shame are involved, I’ll invite the person to pray a prayer of specific
confession so he or she can receive the forgiveness God wants so much to
give and that they so desperately need.[12]
The Holy Spirit can give us the ability to speak[13]
to issues authoritatively and with compassion that are beyond our natural
abilities. He can enable us to make a relational, empathetic connection and
empower us to pray the will of the Father. If we are willing to be His
instruments He will extend His hand into lives of hurting people through us.
[1]
Ephesians 3:19 (AMP)
[2]
Merriam-Webster Online
[3]
John 16:8, 13
[4]
John 3:29; 10:4, 16, 27
[5]
John 16:7
[6]
1 Corinthians 12:7-11, James 1:5
[7]
Romans 8:26-27
[8]
1 John 5:14
[9]
John 14:26
[10]
Matthew 5:4
[11]
Psalm 33:20, 130:5
[12]
1 John 1:9, Matthew 11:28
[13]
Luke 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:6
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