Mother’s Day a Mix of Gratitude and Grief

Many of us will be celebrating this weekend with flowers, candy, and family gatherings to honor mothers. We are admonish by scripture to “give honor were honor is due” and to celebrate the women in our lives who brought us into the world. At the same time we need to remember and empathize with others find this holiday filled with discomfort.

Clinical Psychologist and author, Jared Pingleton recently stated, “Mother’s Day is the single most painful holiday of any celebrated.” Many of these people are within our own families and circle of influence.

Today I was part of discussion with a number of therapists on this very topic of Mother’s Day. As we talked around the table as to why this holiday above all others combined was so painful the following list emerged.

1.)   Women who have had miscarriages

2.)   Women who have had babies/children die

US Infant mortality rate= 6 per 1,000 live births

http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.DYN.IMRT.IN

3.)   Women who have had abortions

Of all the teenage women that become pregnant, 35% choose to have an abortion rather than bear a child. -- http://www.choicespregnancy.org/facts-and-statistics-about-teenage-abortion

4.)   Women who have had children out of wedlock

5.)   Women who gave their baby up for adoption

6.)   Women who struggle with regret, anxiety, fear, grief, guilt,

7.)   Women who struggle with unfulfilled/unrealistic expectations

8.)   Women who have had wayward or “prodigal” children

9.)   Women who struggle with infertility/childlessness

“Number of women ages 15-44 with impaired fecundity (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term): 6.7 million” - http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/fertile.htm 

10.) Women who struggle with loneliness

11.) Divorced women and ensuing custody issues

12.) Blended family/step-mothering issues

13.) People who have had a mother die

14.) People who have been adopted, why did she give me up?

15.) People who have had abusive/negligent/abandoning/dysfunctional mothers

It was very sobering for us all as we looked at the list that had been written on the whiteboard. For these people it is not a happy Mother’s Day. We left that meeting determined that in our celebration we would also be sensitive to those around us that needed a listing ear, understanding, compassion and prayer. I hope you will also!