Fear And Unexpected Change

Everyone has faced or will face an unexpected circumstance that produces fear. While this may be a normal response, fears that remain unchecked can become emotionally paralyzing. It can strip us of self-confidence, steal away inner peace, complicate relationships, and rob us of God given opportunities and blessings.

The story of Mary and Joseph is a great example.  Mary has just been told that she will become pregnant and give birth to the Son of God. “Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:29-30) Joseph, her betrothed, was in utter shock, believing the woman he loved had betrayed him.  “The angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." (Matthew 1:20)

The Lord, knowing their fearful emotional state, rushes in like a cool breeze on a scorching day to refresh and reassure them. His words enabled them to boldly exchange their fears for His peace. Instead of quietly sending Mary away as a marked woman, Joseph embraced her as his wife. Mary with bold faith threw off her fears and brought forth the promised Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Let’s take a closer look at the various components of this familiar story to see if there is a parallel for our lives: (1) the situation was unexpected and life changing (2) gripping fear produced confusion and disbelief (3) possible negative consequences could be  loss of reputation, financial hardship, isolation, and rejection (4) divine intervention and reassurance comes resulting in clarity and renewed peace (5) we no longer make fear based decisions that negatively impact us and others (6) with courage we can face the future with renewed hope in God’s promises.

I love the words of Jesus as He speaks to his disciples about the impending change they are about to face.  “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27) His words are still true for us today!

WISE INSTRUCTION

Proverbs 10:17 (AMP) He who heeds instruction and correction is [not only himself] in the way of life [but also] is a way of life for others. And he who neglects or refuses reproof [not only himself] goes astray [but also] causes to err and is a path toward ruin for others.

I believe there are two distinct messages in this verse. The first regards our response to discipline. There are many people that would have a difficult time with verses like this. Memories of their childhood are painful. Discipline was unjust and at times abusive, creating fear and anxiety. For others correction was measured out justly, most of the time and though unpleasant in the moment, in the end they knew they were loved.

As followers of Jesus, we are His beloved children and as such, God instructs and disciplines us that we can mature in our faith and walk in the joy and peace of unbroken fellowship with Him.  The writer of Hebrews compares the discipline of parents to that of God’s. “They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10-11 (NIV)

The second message is that it’s not just about us! How we live our lives can affect others for good or bad. It is deceptive to think otherwise. Paul followed Jesus and he became an example to others. To the Christians in Thessalonica Paul wrote, “you have become an example to all the believers in Greece—throughout both Macedonia and Achaia (Thessalonians 1:6).

The opposite is also true, we can be a bad influence, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20) Paul wrote “Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 13:33)

Heavenly Father, help me to readily accept your instruction and correction. When corrected, help me to own my actions. I do not want to minimize or cast blame on others to excuse my own faults. Help me to mature in my faith and my love for You. I pray You will work in and through me that I may be an influence for good and bring honor to Your Name! Amen

I Cannot Pray If . . .

I CANNOT SAY 

OUR; if my religion has no room for others and their needs.

I CANNOT SAY

FATHER; if I do not demonstrate this relationship in my daily life.

I CANNOT SAY

WHO ART IN HEAVEN; if all my interests and pursuits are in earthly things.

I CANNOT SAY

HALLOWED BE THY NAME; if I, who am called by His name am not holy.

I CANNOT SAY

THY KINGDOM COME; if I am unwilling to give up my own sovereignty and accept the righteous reign of God.

I CANNOT SAY

THY WILL BE DONE; if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.

I CANNOT SAY

ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN; if I am not truly ready to give myself to his service here and now.

I CANNOT SAY

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD; if I am not expending an honest effort for it or by ignoring the genuine needs of my fellow man.

I CANNOT SAY

FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US; if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone.

I CANNOT SAY

LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION; if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.

I CANNOT SAY

DELIVER US FROM EVIL; if I am not prepared to fight in the spiritual realm with the weapon of prayer.

I CANNOT SAY

THINE IS THE KINGDOM; if I do not give the King the disciplined obedience of a loyal subject.

I CANNOT SAY

THINE IS THE POWER; if I fear what my neighbors do or say to me.

I CANNOT SAY

THINE IS THE GLORY; if I am seeking my own glory first.

I CANNOT SAY

FOREVER; if I am anxious about each day's events.

I CANNOT SAY

AMEN; if i don't honestly say "cost what it may, this is my prayer."

--Author unknown

The Power of Empathy in Prayer

I pray with hurting people almost every day of every week. My desire is to stir hope in their hearts and to lead them through empathy and prayer into an intimate and healing experience with Christ.

The Apostle Paul prayed that people would come to know Christ experientially not just cognitively.[1] Unfortunately many people that you and I pray with don’t know how to make that experiential connection with the Lord. Empathy and prayer combined can be the bridge that helps hurting people experience God loves. And if they experience God loves, then they can have hope.

Empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another . . .”[2] It’s presumptuous to “fix someone” before gaining some degree of understanding and showing him or her that we are genuinely concerned. Before we launch into prayer we need to take time to listen to their story! 

It’s also important to remember the critical role of the Holy Spirit[3] as we minister and pray for others. We have God’s promise that if we listen we will hear His voice,[4] and I believe that includes hearing God’s empathetic heart for those to whom we are ministering. The Holy Spirit, the comforter/counselor[5] will impress His thoughts upon our minds, giving us needed words of wisdom and knowledge, discernment, and prophetic insight.[6]

The Holy Spirit enables us to pray specifically[7] in accordance with God’s will[8] in order to accomplish this connection between hurting people and Himself. Here are some general practical guidelines that I often employ when leading people to Jesus for a touch from Him.

• Questions: I start by asking questions in an effort to gain knowledge and a heart understanding of the hurting person’s story. What is your concern? Would you like to tell me about it?  People need the freedom to talk about their pain without fear of rebuke: they need to be able to say, “I’m hurting”, “I’m angry”, even “I’m angry with God.” As they share, I try to express genuine understanding and empathy with them so they know that I appreciate the pain they are experiencing.

• Scripture: While I am listening to the person, I’m also listening to the Holy Spirit. Regularly He brings a portion of scripture to my memory[9] that I can share with the person that will touch their heart and offer hope—for example, Lamentations 3:16-20 speaks about expressing to God the deep emotional pain associated with grief. I let them know that grieving is a part of the healing process. It’s only if you get stuck in grief for inordinate periods of time that it can become unhealthy. Lamentations 3:21-24 points to the hope that lays beyound the pain and helps the person see that God understands and wants to comfort them.[10]  When people start to see that God is an empathetic God who really cares for His hurting children’s emotional struggles, then they are in a much better place to receive the seed of His word which will be watered by prayer. In effect, we take them gently by the chin, and lift their head so they can see into the eyes of the One who loves them and see the hope that is in Christ.[11]

• Prayer:  When I’ve followed these first steps, I find that my heart usually has made a genuine connection with the hurting person’s heart. I can feel their pain, which enables me to pray for them with real empathy and understanding. I pray that this hurting person will be able to experience hope from God. If sin and the resulting guilt and shame are involved, I’ll invite the person to pray a prayer of specific confession so he or she can receive the forgiveness God wants so much to give and that they so desperately need.[12]

The Holy Spirit can give us the ability to speak[13] to issues authoritatively and with compassion that are beyond our natural abilities. He can enable us to make a relational, empathetic connection and empower us to pray the will of the Father. If we are willing to be His instruments He will extend His hand into lives of hurting people through us.

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[1] Ephesians 3:19 (AMP)

[2] Merriam-Webster Online

[3] John 16:8, 13

[4] John 3:29; 10:4, 16, 27

[5] John 16:7

[6] 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, James 1:5

[7] Romans 8:26-27

[8] 1 John 5:14

[9] John 14:26

[10] Matthew 5:4

[11] Psalm 33:20, 130:5

[12] 1 John 1:9, Matthew 11:28

[13] Luke 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:6