Mother’s Day a
Mix of Gratitude and Grief
Many of us will be celebrating this weekend with flowers,
candy, and family gatherings to honor mothers. We are admonish by scripture to “give
honor were honor is due” and to celebrate the women in our lives who brought us
into the world. At the same time we need to remember and empathize with others
find this holiday filled with discomfort.
Clinical Psychologist and author, Jared Pingleton recently stated,
“Mother’s Day is the single most painful holiday of any celebrated.” Many of
these people are within our own families and circle of influence.
Today I was part of discussion with a number of therapists
on this very topic of Mother’s Day. As we talked around the table as to why
this holiday above all others combined was so painful the following list
emerged.
1.) Women
who have had miscarriages
2.) Women
who have had babies/children die
US Infant
mortality rate= 6 per 1,000 live births
3.) Women
who have had abortions
4.) Women
who have had children out of wedlock
5.) Women
who gave their baby up for adoption
6.) Women
who struggle with regret, anxiety, fear, grief, guilt,
7.) Women
who struggle with unfulfilled/unrealistic expectations
8.) Women
who have had wayward or “prodigal” children
9.) Women
who struggle with infertility/childlessness
10.)
Women who struggle with loneliness
11.)
Divorced women and ensuing custody issues
12.)
Blended family/step-mothering issues
13.)
People who have had a mother die
14.)
People who have been adopted, why did she give me up?
15.) People who have had
abusive/negligent/abandoning/dysfunctional mothers
It was very sobering for us all as we looked at the list
that had been written on the whiteboard. For these people it is not a happy
Mother’s Day. We left that meeting determined that in our celebration we would
also be sensitive to those around us that needed a listing ear, understanding,
compassion and prayer. I hope you will also!